Star Trek Online: Call of Valor

A Star Trek Online Fan-fiction.

Captain’s Log: “Out In The Cold – Aftermath”

The doors swished open, and Jase entered his cabin; as the doors closed tight behind him, his posture slouched much more.

“Computer: lock cabin.” Jase’s voice was quieter, the pain creeping into his inflection. The computer chirped it’s acknowledgement and the sounds of servos in the walls whirred into action, sealing the door into a closed position.

His head drooped noticeably as he shuffled to the nearest chair; his shoulders already beginning to shudder with silent sobs. He had been successful in rescuing the Deferi prisoners; declared a hero. But now, in the quiet of his private quarters, he finally let out the sobs of pain and fear that had assaulted him and threatened to incapacitate him on the Breen mining station.

He opened his uniform jacket, the freedom now letting him breath deep as he sobbed into his hands. Flashes of memories from a painful childhood flooded back. Why is it he can never escape from those horrible memories? Of tolling in the mines beside his brother and his father, of those Naussican thugs beating on his family… of the grizzly images of his fathers torture and death…

The door chimed. The doors internal communicator activated. “Captain? Captain, are you alright? It’s me… Please, Jase, let me in…” T’Pahl’s voice was unmistakable. Despite her strict Vulcan training and reserve, he could hear the concern in her voice.

Jase dried his eyes on his sleeve. “One moment…” he called, heading towards his lavatory. Once in the bedroom, he spoke orders to the soulless machine that protected him in his sanctuary. “Computer, allow entrance to Commander T’Pahl and seal my cabin once she has entered.” Again, it chirped it’s acknowledgement as he entered the lavatory and washed his face, pulling off his uniform jacket entirely. Face rinsed and wearing just a comfortable t-shirt and loose vest, he felt a bit better and made his way to the living area, where T’Pahl was sitting patiently in a chair, leaning forward on her knees, her hands clasped together thoughtfully.

“That was harder for you than you can admit, wasn’t it?” She said as he sat across from her.

“Don’t tell me my strong masks are finally cracking, old friend… The last thing I need is for my crew to see me weak and vulnerable like that. Yes, that was harder than I had thought it would be; did it really show that easily?”

“Only to me, and not outwardly. You know we share a bond; I could feel the turmoil inside you.”

He shifted uncomfortably. He hated sharing his feelings; even to T’Pahl, after all they’d been through together. Yes… it was very hard. For a moment, it was as if I was back at the colony again, with my family… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to see forced slavery and not feel that all over again…” he covered his face in his hands, trying to hide his tears. He knew there was no point, though; she could see better than anyone the pain he was feeling.

She moved beside him and wrapped her arms around him, gently stroking his hair the way his mother used to when he was a child… He sobbed again, and this time broke down and let it all out. She sat there with him, comforting him, telling him it was all right. For that short time, he wasn’t Vice Admiral Jase of the starship Sword of Truth; he was just Jase….

They sat there a long time; he lost track of how long, falling asleep resting in her arms. He awoke on his couch, his uniform jacket over him like a blanket and the computer chiming that it was time for his duty shift on the bridge.

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September 9, 2010 - Posted by | Captain's Log

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